Hang on,checkingthe sky.
Fetching real weather. Unlike some, we actually deliver.
Asking the sky…
From Open-Meteo hourly data for the town on screen: rain chance, wind gusts, temperature, humidity and UV. "Pretend weather" doesn't change these.
This is what the heads-up will look like once the EskomSePush feed is switched on. Until then, no real stages are shown here. For the real thing, use the EskomSePush app.
Satire, worked out from the weather and pure vibes. It is not a real schedule. For real load-shedding times, check EskomSePush or your municipality.
Makes a picture card of today's verdict for the family WhatsApp group. Tannie will forward it to 40 people.
Opens WhatsApp with the roast typed in. You choose the chat and press send. Nothing goes out by itself.
Runs in your browser only: no server, no account, no spam. Phones decide when to wake a web app, so the roast lands at 7am or soon after, usually when the phone is awake and online.
On iPhone: tap Share, then "Add to Home Screen", open Blunt. from the new icon, then switch this on (needs iOS 16.4 or newer).
Every word on the screen, explained. Five languages and counting.
Weather from Open-Meteo.com (free, real, updated every 15 minutes). Opinions from us (free, unreliable). Satire aimed at systems, not people. Made in Durbanville. 🇿🇦